There is no there...

It is one of my endearing peculiarities that I do not believe in the flow of time. I do not believe in dying. I believe in circular motion; ascension within perceived realities. Every moment we are gravitating towards something that we have never been before, and to release the emotion invested in yesterday, to relinquish our hold on an uncertain tomorrow, we can wrestle with the most troublesome of all: the present. We do not touch it because we hold it in contempt. Do the trees hold in contempt the harsh winter, and to they wrestle with the seasons as not to lose their leaves? Do they long to return to the soil from which they came during their verdant growth in spring and summer-time? I think the reader will find that the tree is wise to the wiles of the earth, and that it sees fit to make itself abundant in the soil. Its whole nature is in agreement with the present and it has learned through the millennia to be abundant but also live within and be a part of nature. Of course, the reader has heard analogies like these before. Perhaps because the reverberate through our lifetimes with the most efficacious truth of all…

I find that my life has always brought be to realise that life is lived within a circular and ascending motion, and that, though pain becomes magnified and the world of humanity appears with the garnered truth and knowledge even more pernicious and saddening, it is the most peculiarly beautiful and affirming experience. I cannot tell whether I am bound for more suffering and the probabilities are heavily in favour of it. But I will simply lose those bright leaves, let them darken and fold until the fall to the earth. I will let the winter frost cover me whilst maintaining spiritual calm and I will not regret my weakness since it is the most honest thing about my existence. I will anticipate the thaw of my body and the light that somehow is promised to us after winter. And I will accept that there is no there; there is only a here, and the dream of a there. There are no guarantees, but to have faith, and faith is a guarantee; there is only personal spiritual reckoning.

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